I’ve always loved watching movies. Through the magic of cinematography, I am transported into the adventure, action, romance, and thrill of a great story. What makes it so good is the skill of the actors that play those roles. When performed by outstanding actors the characters have the ability to draw you in and take you along for the ride.
There are so many great movies that I love. But, there is one movie in particular that really can never be bested by others which I have seen on a screen. That movie? My own life movie! It doesn’t get more real than this.
My life movie is filled with all the emotions and traits of the greatest movies I’ve ever watched. What makes it better than the best that commercial theatre has to offer is that it is real.
Or is it??
As author Margery Williams noted in the children’s classic, The Velveteen Rabbit: What is real?
I started to ponder this questions a couple of years ago. It led me down the path of starting to understand and observe myself like never before. I started to notice the role or roles I was playing. I had sold myself on the character I was and the traits of that character. I had bought into societal expectations of the role I had chosen to play.
To truly understand who I was in my own life movie, I had to first see the role I was playing. This meant becoming extremely vulnerable and open.
Great actors will study the roles of the characters they are to play. They will profile the character and take on all of his traits—so much so they will lose themselves in that character’s personality and motivation to play the perfect role.
I came to realize that this was exactly I had done to my own life. In trying to be perfect at the role I thought I was expected to play, I lost the essence of myself in the character I was playing in my life movie.
I was consumed by the story of my character. What made this story real were my past and the ideas I had projected into the future.
I gave other people roles to play in my life movie. Their participation made my life movie seem even more real. My mind was consumed by the experiences I had and the ones I hoped to have.
My emotions added to my perfect role. They were in the grip of each scene. I was so wrapped up in role playing that I forgot that there was nothing beyond each moment.
You see, the amazing thing about actors, I came to realize, is that they play these incredible characters. Their characters have the most insurmountable problems. They suffer. They feel pain. They laugh. They cry. They love… But, regardless of the characters’ circumstances, at the end of filming for that day these professionals remember who they truly are. In that moment, they are freed from their roles. All the traits of the characters they play no longer matter. They are free to be themselves—until shooting resumes the next day. Those that cannot shed this role and its accompanying traits like a second skin, often experience personal and social problems. Literally, they don’t know who they truly are.
I share this with you because I came to realize that we all have choices. I’ll even go as far to say that we even have free will. My problem was that I was never using it. I was consumed by the character I thought I was and that I was convinced others expected me to be.
I never stopped in the moment to bring awareness to who I truly was. I couldn’t because my story, my problems, my circumstances, my needs, and my agendas for all that I desired got in the way.
So, I decided to start taking an observer position in this move of mine called life. I decided to look upon it from the perspective of a director. It wasn’t easy! I’m still practicing. I had to work at remembering that my true identity is not that which I think it is—or that I think others expect. It’s anything I feel it to be once I remember who I truly am…
How consumed are you by your story? Have you, too, bought into the character you have sold yourself on being? Have you let others’ expectations decree who you will be? Have the needs and agendas of your character got in the way?
I believe you are free to do what you love in life. I believe you came here to be your authentic self. You owe it to yourself to live each moment from the heart. This means nothing if you can’t become aware of who you truly are.
Your ego has spent years building and investing in the perfect role you are now playing but it is not who you are. So, don’t be surprised if those emotions that keep us glued to the screen arise in your own life as you begin to pull back the cover and realize the ultimate truth of who you really are.
Maybe, just maybe, who you are is not just the character you play but a compilation of every other character you see and all that is. Maybe it is you in another that is playing a role you scripted. Maybe you are much bigger than this body. Possibly you are even as infinite as the energy that comprises all things. Even consider that One energy is who you are…
So if you are the One energy that is all things, what would you then love to do? To create your life movie, moment by moment? That’s pretty powerful if you ask me! But hey you are infinite, right?
If you had a moment to stop and ask the questions:
“What role would I love to play?”
What would your answer be? Then going one step further ask… Why would I write a script that limits me from doing what I love if I am free to chose? If you truly are Infinite…